Sunday, January 25, 2015

Immortal


The moment we take our thoughts and put them into words to be physically seen they are there forever.  We hope and wish and intend on our diaries to be for our eyes only, but that’s just foolishness.  This is the risk we take when we allow our “soul” to live in the words we write.  Dominique Browning in “Burning the Diaries” knew it was time to let go of 40 years.  She feared the “evil eye that would judge”, but mostly she didn’t want her boys to know “how profoundly” she had suffered throughout her life.  I can’t judge this.  I can’t say what she’s doing with her soul is wrong or right.  My opinion is, life is incredibly difficult.  When you write all the ups and downs as a coping mechanism, the thought of someone being able to read all of your deepest and darkest thoughts and feelings has to be scary as hell.  


Because this is what she’s doing isn’t it?  There is so much pain in Browning’s diaries when talking about burning them she doesn’t say let them all go.  She says it was time to “let it all go.”  She’s talking about her written past.  Having those words kept her pain immortal.  She held on to it for long enough and it was time for her to burn her way to the other side.

I get it, but for me my diary is only the recovery of my darkest days.  Writing when I was at my lowest point felt exhausting therefore it just didn’t happen.  I was empowered by how much one person can change or help another and they not even know it.  So I wrote and wrote and wrote most of our conversations.  Learning how to live life again and with so much self discovery is not something I would ever burn but I don’t need to.  My immortal written words are the other side of that burned bridge.  Anyone who reads it would be impacted by the depths two souls can connect.

2 comments:

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  2. Love some of the imagery you weave into the post.

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